LA REPÚBLICA CULTURAL DEL PAPEL

Un lugar donde nada tiene precio y todo tiene valor; donde no hay Bourbones, ni Papas, ni corrupción. "Todo para el papel, pero sin el papel!!"

sábado, agosto 04, 2007

CÓMO QUITAR EL HIPO EN CINCO PASOS

Todo el mundo sabe lo molesto que resulta el hipo, pero pocos son los afortunados que conocen la fórmula para acabar con él. Eso de aguantar la respiración, beber agua, lo del susto y todo lo demás no sirve para nada en absoluto. Lo que nosotros explicamos, si. Sigan ustedes nuestras instrucciones y lograrán quitarle el hipo a cualquiera.


PASO 1: Invite al aquejado de hipo a tenderse en el suelo. Si opone resistencia alegando que se va a manchar la ropa, déjelo en paños menores y derríbelo a viva fuerza.


PASO 2: Oprímale el cuello a conciencia, sin dejarse convencer por sus lamentos, quejas o amenazas. Haga esto durante cinco minutos más o menos; insista, insista.


PASO 3: Si el aquejado de hipo no se hubiera defendido, el hipo ya estaría eliminado, pero el aquejado se defiende siempre y hay que volver a empezar. Tenga paciencia, no se ha visto nunca sujeto más tozudo que el aquejado de hipo.


PASO 4: Oprímale el cuello con las piernas y muérdale una mano. Esto último, aunque no sirve para eliminar el hipo, sirve en cambio para evitar los arañazos y golpes del aquejado.


PASO 5: Como el imbécil del hipador no se va a quedar quieto, haga lo siguiente: Coja impulso y procure darle un fuerte cabezazo entre las cejas. Si lo consigue, a buen seguro que el hipo habrá desaparecido.



Lo ve usted? El aquejado de hipo ya no hipa ni nada. No se sorprenda al comprobar que el sujeto ha quedado exánime, el hipo, que era lo que importaba, ya no existe. Enhorabuena.

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